Current Music List

I felt the need to talk about something and I don’t feel like talking to people I know, so here I am. If I keep to myself much longer I might explode. I thought it’d be interesting to share my current top song list. It consists of 6 songs at this point in time, but I worn you very depressing. If you click on the song I linked it to a youtube of the song. Although I doubt any one is reading. I’m so on and off on this site that I’m sure no one cares much about what I have to say. But then again no one probably did at first anyway. Oh well.

Well lets get to this list….

6. Numb – Linkin Park

5. This Cannot Mend – Projected Twin

4. Caged Bird – Alicia Keys

3. Never Too Late – Three Days Grace

2. Last Resort – Papa Roach

1.Down – Jason Walker

Another thing about this list is these songs are quite old but I feel that older songs have more meaning than most songs now. I’ve had some interesting events happen the past few weeks and these songs are the only songs consistently going through my head. Alright, that is all.


At this point, I’m not even sure what this is. Blog, whatever. I guess its like my random diary lol. Every time I go to blog I look at the blank screen, read some blogs that I follow, go back to the blank screen and its like eh I don’t have anything important to say, maybe tomorrow. Yeah that’s worked real well. I’m not sure why I am actually blogging right now but I felt the urge. Sooooooo hello to any person who for some reason decides to read this.

I have been working on a few poems. I finished one, the others are still a work in progress. Maybe eventually I will post them on here, but something about that scares me. The problems is I’m not sure what. Maybe it’s me thinking the poems aren’t good enough, or the thought that someone could use my work. I don’t really know. Maybe in the next few days I will post a few. We will see what transpires over the next few days.


Alright maybe I will actually pick this blog up off the ground. Would be nice. Awkward post ending now.

Until next time.

Alphabet Soup (A Return?)

HELLO!!!! It has been a long while since I have posted, so today is my ATTEMPT at getting back to it. I guess the reason I haven’t is I found it particularly difficult, this semester, to JUGGLE schoolwork, soccer, and the rest of my life. So in the end I found myself falling behind in all aspects. Now that the semester has ended, I have time to try to pick things back up. What better way than to kick off with a prompt, a very INTERESTING one at that! I decided that more than half of my words would be randomly picked by my friends. So that makes this prompt all the more fun.

Over the past few months I have been in this ENDLESS BATTLE with injuries and illnesses…. story of my life it seems. I am completely STUMPED. So many things have been going on that I can’t keep up. I recently acquired a rabbit. She was in a terrible home and I am keeping her for another family until Christmas. I was in FEAR for a while of the POSSIBILITY that I was allergic to her. The result came in that I wasn’t so that was GREAT, but I found out that I have this stupid skin thing going on so that’s dumb. It’s so annoying. I had a QUIVER go down my spine the other day and just that caused pain throughout my body because of it. Then yesterday, found out that my boyfriend is going through a really ROUGH patch and basically feels like he is a complete LOSER, so I am trying to help him stay positive about that. He also recently got an X-RAY for his shoulder and was supposed to get surgery on it Wednesday, but now he doesn’t know if he can do it. I’m trying to KEEP him thinking positive, but its wearing on my hard. I feel like I’m going to lose my MIND. I wish that I could VANISH, just disappear for even a few days, but it’ll be fine. There’s always hopes of a better TOMORROW. Just have to take it one day at a time. The ULTIMATE end will speak for itself. No need to WALLOW in the things I can’t change. It takes COURAGE to get through rough times and the courage is there so it’ll work out. Just need to YIELD to the negative thoughts piling on.

Time to ZIP on to a more uplifting topic. (Wow, that was lame.)  I’m up for a random DANCE party right now! Like so serious! I love going to my moms house and turning on the random jams and just dancing. Usually we look like complete idiots, but that’s okay. What’s better than to look dumb with family. Having a good relationship with family is a NECESSARY key. I don’t have that with all my family, but I am working on it.

So the last word that I was supposed to add in has no meaning to anything that I have to talk about, but I can talk about how crazy it was. So for O I was supposed to use, OBSEQUIES…. um it has something to do with funeral rites? Since I barely know what it is, the likelihood I could have used in intertwining is impossible, but oh well haha. Well I guess that’s all.

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Alphabet Soup.”


Can I just go out and say WHAT THE FUCK USA!!!!!!!!!!!! They had the game won and with seconds left let Portugal go and score the freaking equalizer…. WE WERE THROUGH TO THE KNOCKOUT STAGE!!!! THE OTHER GAMES WERENT A BIG DEAL…. well damn…. my heart broke when they scored gaaaaaaaahhh. Oh well now that I’m done with that few seconds of ranting, they’ll be okay. 

So I started coaching the little ones last week and they are a blast! I don’t always want to go but once I get there everything flows smooth lol well at least for the most part. 2-3 year olds get a little rowdy at times lol but so do the 3-4, 6-8 and 8-10 yr olds. It doesn’t help on the days that I have sessions in the morning since I already get up at 5 for workouts. Let me tell you about these past few days though oh my goodness I’ve had a rough one…

Wednesday I took my gma to the hospital and found out another friend was in the hospital, then I lost my keys and thank goodness I found them because I threw them in the trash outside and the next day was trash day….

Thursday I lost my name tag(which could have gotten me written up if I hadn’t found it), found out my cousins brother was in the hospital, found out I had a cousin on life support (breathing on his own now).

Friday I was able to pick my gma up from the hospital but she called me at like 1 I didn’t get her message until 4, I was so tired I didn’t even hear my phone ring.

Saturday I slept until 2 and have had a migraine ever since. I’m probably going to call the doctor tomorrow because it is something I constantly struggle with.

Today I had fitness testing. I didn’t pass any of the tests. It was a practice but what was frustrating was on the second test I failed it by a second…. A FREAKING SECOND!!!! Oh and not to mention I left the windows open in my truck last night my seats are all wet…. 

But I am alive and breathing and I am thankful for that. May have been a rough few days but I’m counting on a better tomorrow so I still have a reason to smile. 🙂 

If you haven’t done so please smile…. like now, I’m waiting!!!!

Have a great day…. or night!! Which ever lol 

I don’t know what happened….

So my last post was in February…. 3 months later I get on wordpress and just stare and my page asking what happened???? 

Well I have no idea honestly. Time sneaks by me a lot of times. To only be 20 there is some serious issue with my memory but anyhow…. I’m going to work on this. Now that I’m done with finals and its summer vacation, I can spend some time figuring out what exactly my identity is on here. So this is going to be a rough…. few weeks, months, possibly years, but who knows. We shall see where I go with this. At first I wanted to post at least once a day but now I think I’m going to reduce that a lot, until I get used to it. So for now probably once or twice a week. Since today is Saturday, probably I’ll use Saturdays as a post day. 

So whats been going on lately….


Wisdom teeth…. OUT

Injuries…. CONTROLLED (for now)

Health…. WORKING ON IT (starting with my diet…. need to fix that)


Job…. BRING ON THE CHILDREN (in about a month)…. also on the side, gun shows are terrible lol

Okay, that’s enough. That is just a little in a quick easy to digest list of what is happening. I am really tired though so as I continue to go about my day and the next few days I will be figuring out what I want to do on here. 



Quick Update

I haven’t been on in a while and so much has been happening that it probably was best that I haven’t been. Right now my mom is playing a clip of my aunt singing a song. It’s all we have left of her beautiful voice. I miss her so much but I can only imagine the pain my mom and grandma have. In 14 days it will have been 4 years since I have seen her. Each year it is as if she fades a little more away and it hurts me so much. I think I miss most her laugh. If only you all could have heard it you would share the joy that we all got from it. She was by no means perfect. She had her drawbacks but don’t we all. She might be the reason I’m so drawn to sharp objects lol. That’s a story for a different time however.

On a different note:

Over the weekend I helped my dad move stuff from my grandparents house and due to the great snow……….. (obviously sarcasm) I slipped on the bed of his truck and obtained a great little gash on my shin. Pretty sure its semi infected which sucks. Oh well I’m keeping it clean and what not so hopefully it heals up soon. Going to have fun running tonight. Suicides…. fun. Oh well…. things are starting to slow down so hopefully that means that I will get to get on more often now 🙂 OH MY COUSIN HAD HER BABY YESTERDAY!!!!!!!!!!!! SO EXCITING 🙂 Okay hope to be back on soon.

College Returns

So before I go into my thoughts on what this semester brings, for zero to hero challenge today we are supposed to create a blogroll. I think I’m just really tired but I don’t get it. I’ve got it up but I don’t understand putting new ones on it or idk. Maybe I will revisit the idea in the morning when I’ve slept off this long day.

Classes began Monday and it was one of those I’m ready but I’m not type things. However, I am excited for the semester. I believe I mentioned it at some point, maybe, I tend to forget things, but I am a psychology major. So this semester I have 3 psych classes including: research methods, social, and personality. Really looking forward to personality because it sounds interesting but also because I love the professor I have. Continuing I also have 2 history classes and 1 social work class that I’m excited about because it is all about respect and responsibility for elders. I’m already shocked with myself which is sad cause it’s only the second day, but I completely finished everything I wanted to get done tonight which rarely EVER happens. So real excited about that.

For 2 of my psych classes  I already need to start looking for a topic for our major grade for one I need a topic for a research proposal and the other I need a person whose personality I can dissect. For the research proposal I already know my focus will be in sports psychology but I now have to figure out a question that I can get from that. There’s lots of tons of things I could do but I just haven’t gotten to it yet. For the person…. I’ve no clue yet. Maybe a soccer player. I just need someone that I can get information on their childhood. I am actually excited about these projects so we’ll see where it goes.

I’m worn out so I’m going to say its my bedtime. Have a great night, evening, day, morning, which ever suits your time. 🙂

A Visit to the Doctor’s Office (Part 2)

The doctor walked in with his clipboard and gave me a looked that assured me something wasn’t right. He asked:

“Would you like the good news or the bad news first.”

Oh no there it was I knew for sure whatever he had to say, I was not going to want to hear it. I was so scared to hear anything but eventually told him that he could choose. He looked at his clipboard then back and me smiled and said:

“Good news, you didn’t tear your meniscus, but….”

WHAT THE HECK!!!! Could he make my life any more difficult. He must have been amused by the agony he was giving me in not just telling me straight out. Maybe I should have said just give me the bad news and spare me the good. He smiled and I knew at this point that he was in fact enjoying my anticipation. Finally he continued:

“your MRI showed that your iliotibial band is really inflamed and that can mimic a tear in  the meniscus which is why you are in so much pain.”

My what?? After he explained this to me, he then told me that it would not sideline me and that I could do as much as the pain would allow me to do. I was prescribed meds to get rid of the inflammation and released to practice. After all of that I was relieved to know that it wasn’t as serious as it could have been. It still gives me problems today but I still laugh at how nervous I was to hear the doctors results.  🙂 

This was the end of my story for the weekly writing challenge.