Family of Strangers

For day 4 of blogging 101 I want to put out a poem that I have recently finished. Its a very personal poem to me, but I want to get it out there. I’ve written so many poems and have just kept them to myself and now I’m trying to figure out how much good it does me when I keep them too myself. The whole idea behind me writing poetry was to get my point across and make meaning of the things happening around me. It does little good to write them if no one will ever read them. I may as well have kept  them in my brain. So with no further delay I guess this is where I start.

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Another family reunion filled with so much happiness

Yet, so much frustration and sorrow

I’m happy to see them and share laughs and memories

However I watch those I call family and I can’t help but feel a void

It’s not that they don’t except me

I know with all my heart I am loved

Still there’s a voice in my head saying

“You don’t belong”

I know my family

But, I don’t know them

And they don’t know me

I watch them

Intrigued by their connections

Envying the relationships they share

They know each other well

I’m turned inward

I stand behind my shield

I interact but am careful not to get too close

Not to get in too deep

In my experience that is when everything comes crashing down

Sensing if they knew the full me

No longer would I be accepted

We will share a few laughs

Then at the end of the day, head our separate ways

Restoring the distances between us

I have no one but myself to blame

I continue to distance myself from them

It’s a family reunion

But when I look around

I see strangers